Useless Dream

I thought that moment passed, forgotten. Nope, just hidden in the back of my mind. “NafsiATi” [mind-related?] I tell you.  I should be freaking out about Finals, cause’ yes, its finals week, hence the distracting-me-getting-on-the-blog-flow. Typical. The dream is kind of fuzzy now, thank God. I woke up in the middle of it and wanted to go back into it. Darn that alarm and school. JK I love the Education, and need that alarm. Alhumdulilah.

It was a Sunrise. Beautiful, I know. Deal with it.

It was a Sunrise. Beautiful, I know. Deal with it.

It was you. Me. and some random girl who was supposedly my younger sister? Like, come on. Get out of my dream, you dweeb. I wanted a younger sister in real life, not in this dream [sure told her HA]. Anyway, it was personal. So close, and personal. Ah. It was…lovely, actually. However, a disappointment upon awakening. You were the same as I knew you, and so was I, except it was a dream and everything was not perfect, but that didn’t matter because we were there. Sticking together till the end. Together. My best friend. Always.

So…you guys want me to write about something specific…I mean if you people still exist. I’ve been so bad at blogging and stuff. Mostly bad at “stuff”. Yea, so tell me! I really want to write at least once a week. Lets see how that goes. BTW, Eid Mubarak?

-eva626

Ramadan 2015 update post.

Asalamalakum!

How are you? What have you guys been up to? I just hate being away from home during Ramadan! ITS so hard to be in “Ramadan” mode, without family. The Suhoor, the family, the ambiance, the feeling of sweetness, iftar everyday with family, the talking about life and Islam, rushing to the bathroom before anyone else (BAE lol) to make wudu first after iftar, reminding and being advised to stay on track, struggling together, getting ready for Tarawee, wearing my favorite Abaya (made in Turkey!), praying with all the sisters at the Majjid, bumping into all the sisters while leaving the Majjid after Tarawee, stopping at the gas station to get snacks, eating more when coming home, staying up till Suhoor while reading Quran, striving to finish the Quran and making it to every single Tarawee, seeing how grumpy my brothers get at Suhoor, Suhoor with family, praying with family, and trying to fall asleep after Fajr (SO HARD). I know, its a run on sentence. That was my life before Chicago, Alhumdulilah!

Yea so, an update to my life is that I am not planning to go to NY until December InSha Allah (If Allah wills). I just can’t… I used to be the first one out and about during even the week long breaks. Life. But, you already knew that!

Oh, and I am eating super unhealthy. I hate it. I miss my parents and my brothers so much. I miss being home so much that I am tempted to use a smiley. YA KUDAYA MADAD!!!!! Ramadan is almost over.

May Allah accept the wee bit of prayer, fasts, duas, and deeds we all have strived to do. Ameen. Please, if you are reading this, pray for me! [A LOT]. Jasak ALLAH Khair

SALAM from the sad-sad-oh-very-sad eva626. <3

Ramadan 1436/2015

We made it, Alhumdulilah! Its the 4th day of Ramadan. One more hour till Iftar aka opening my fast. This is the most “unique” type of Ramadan I am spending in my whole life…well, that I can remember. Its because I am alone in Chicago. Yea, I’m alone in the kitchen, in my room, during Suhoor, during Iftar. But, Alhumdulilah, I have my friends here to keep me motivated. Also, I have my family on the other side of skype and my deceptive cell phone. Its all good ;).

The other day, the Muslim girls in my educational institute…lol, hosted Iftar for us. It was like a “pot luck” or a “One-dish” as all you brown people like to call it. I made Gol Gappas, of course [that’s the thing with chickpeas and stuff, and you put that in the Panni Puri thing and eat it. Look it up]. Everyone loved them, surprisingly. I actually had to improvise without my original recipe, mostly in part because I lost my memory. LOL. Astigfirullah. I meant like I couldn’t remember it. That’s so bad. However, it worked! Unfortunately I couldn’t make the “coconut lemon aid” I wanted to. Time management issues I tell you.

Ramadan #2015 #1436 #Alhumdulilah #Blessing

Ramadan #2015 #1436 #Alhumdulilah #Blessing

I skyped with my family this morning at 3am, during their Suhoor time. That Bagaan tho [eggplant salaan my mom made for my family]. I miss my family. In other not so important news, I finished Season 2 of Agents of Shield. which means no more distractions for Ramadan. Its a really good show btw! Diverging off topic…Dua for me. I get lost a lot. I also have Clinic tomorrow…2 shifts! Then, I have another shift in the morning on Tuesday after our Exam! Ah.

YA KUDAYA, MADAD! [Lord, Help]

Anyway, I should prep for Iftar…by myself…for myself…with myself. Ah, its all good though!

Children, take notes.

I had a plan ever since I turned 19. Yea, I know… #hagLife. My plan was to get married at 20, become a doctor, and have beautiful children with a person I loved. This is life, and stuff doesn’t happen. There’s regret, misfortune, chaos, timing, career, family issues, yatta-yatta-yatta [that’s old for ‘blah blah blah’ #haglife remember].

So, here’s some tips and hints to life for the future children who are planning their life.

1) Keep planning cause organization is essential and it gives you hope. Plus, it helps to plan your classes while in undergrad so you don’t waste a chunk of your life at first base.

2) Plan the things YOU are able to do. Because not every thing goes accordingly especially if it involves other people.

3) Follow your dreams, passion, career goals, life style goals, even if they are hard and time consuming.

4) Focus on religion, your goals, family, food, and whoever you can help out. Speaking of , well more like mentioning lol food:

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3am craving

5) If you fall in love, marry that person, and if you don’t fall in love, marry someone according to your list (yes, there are lists for everything) and make sure you communicate with the other side often before changing your life….change is scary.

6) Keep yourself healthy and your teeth… its going to cost a lot of money to fix things in your body. Plus, you hav to accomplish your goals…so you don’t got time for no appointments and stuff. psht. #timeIsmoneyandYouth.

7) Live off of home remedies, unless you have allergies to something. Blame/thank genetics.

8) Turn to Allah in distress and happiness. There are points in your life that will cause you to go astray, but you can get back on it and try your very hardest to stay on the right path with Allah’s help. Remember:

“Allah says, ‘I am as my servant expects Me to be, and I am with him when he remembers me. If he thinks of Me, I think of him. If he mentions Me in company, I mention him in an even better company. When he comes closer to Me by a handspan, I come closer to him an arm’s length. If he draws closer to Me by an arm’s length, I draw closer by a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him. If my servant comes to Me walking, I go to him running.” (Al-Bukhari).

9) Drink lots of water.

-Peace Out!

Hopeless

i have low self esteem
everyone hates me
they think i have the family curse
i have bad character
i am a show off
i use people
i have too many imperfections
i am a waste of time to be heard by any family member
i am bossy and unreasonable
i am depressed
i make everyone else around me depressed
i am physically and mentally unattractive
i don’t have family values
i am irresponsible
and not worthy of love.
this was not a poem.

Monday

I woke up at 5am [Yes, its that kind of post], and got ready. I had packed my suitcase the night before…’see, how clever I am’ (my Mom’s catch phrase, nvm you won’t get it). I got in the shuttle and got to the airport two hours early, cause that’s how excited, and cautious I am. I slept once I got home.

Tuesday: I ate alot of my mom’s cooking. Yummmmm. Oh, I realized I got fat. Boo.

Wednesday: I can’t remember what happened here…oh wait nvm. i went to my undergrad with my brother, to help him get motivated for his internship application and stuff. Insha Allah he will get spot.

Thursday: I saw a movie during this week but idk. My husband and I went to dinner to Cheesecake Factory in Jersey… loved their veggie burger!

Friday: Jummah! We went to Brooklyn and prayed Friday prayer and I spent the day at the in-laws home. Daal and kabobs tho! We saw a movie, ‘Kingsmen’…. not as good as anticipated. Boo.

Saturday: I slept, ate, and then my parents took all of us for dinner. We got there around 12am lol. The food was mad good though…chicken tikka!!! Oh and CHAI.

Sunday: I packed and now I’m waiting to board. See you in a few hours, Chicago. And we’re back to no-one-wants-to-talk-to-her-cause-her-bad-character.

Peace…

Sunday

Day #1, was OK. I tried to be productive and stuff. I went for a walk in my school. Came back, and cleaned my share of the cleaning. Took out my room’s trash and vacuumed, sprayed my dresser and everything. Its a stress reliever. Oh, besides having a mental breakdown, crying my eyes out, and going on a verge of depression, I made food…eggs to be EGGxact.

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The simple things, remember.

I took a shower, a-nice-warm-to-the-point-of-burning-steaming-hot-shower. Alhumdulilah, that felt nice.

I talked to my family, and they suggested I should come home, to NY. I gave in after much deliberation (insert Mufasa’s stern,tone), I booked my flight for the morning after. Then in celebration I made myself an apple, yogurt, cottage cheese ‘ parfait ‘. It doesn’t look appealing in an image form so yea. It was tasty.

That was my first day of break week.
Peace Out!