Ramadan 1436/2015

We made it, Alhumdulilah! Its the 4th day of Ramadan. One more hour till Iftar aka opening my fast. This is the most “unique” type of Ramadan I am spending in my whole life…well, that I can remember. Its because I am alone in Chicago. Yea, I’m alone in the kitchen, in my room, during Suhoor, during Iftar. But, Alhumdulilah, I have my friends here to keep me motivated. Also, I have my family on the other side of skype and my deceptive cell phone. Its all good ;).

The other day, the Muslim girls in my educational institute…lol, hosted Iftar for us. It was like a “pot luck” or a “One-dish” as all you brown people like to call it. I made Gol Gappas, of course [that’s the thing with chickpeas and stuff, and you put that in the Panni Puri thing and eat it. Look it up]. Everyone loved them, surprisingly. I actually had to improvise without my original recipe, mostly in part because I lost my memory. LOL. Astigfirullah. I meant like I couldn’t remember it. That’s so bad. However, it worked! Unfortunately I couldn’t make the “coconut lemon aid” I wanted to. Time management issues I tell you.

Ramadan #2015 #1436 #Alhumdulilah #Blessing

Ramadan #2015 #1436 #Alhumdulilah #Blessing

I skyped with my family this morning at 3am, during their Suhoor time. That Bagaan tho [eggplant salaan my mom made for my family]. I miss my family. In other not so important news, I finished Season 2 of Agents of Shield. which means no more distractions for Ramadan. Its a really good show btw! Diverging off topic…Dua for me. I get lost a lot. I also have Clinic tomorrow…2 shifts! Then, I have another shift in the morning on Tuesday after our Exam! Ah.

YA KUDAYA, MADAD! [Lord, Help]

Anyway, I should prep for Iftar…by myself…for myself…with myself. Ah, its all good though!

Broken

As a child, I didn’t think much…
I’d see, smell, hear, sometimes touch.
As a kid, I thought only when I had to,
i.e. in class, games, or when I lost a shoe.
As a tween, I shy’d away.
Saw, heard, and merely observed.
As a teenager, I was too involved at school and at home.
I had friends and family, this is where love was shown.
As a young adult, I said what I wanted, yet still was respectful and not a rebel at all.
I felt things, thought about everything, except the fall.
As an adult, I chose to be happy, yet I was the only one.
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Tables turned, I decided to make them happy and now life’s not fun.
As the days go by, noone cares or replies.
I’m ok though. Thanks. I’m done.
-Eva626

What am I?

I am your unforgettable muse.

Your brightest daylight; fermented booze.

Your sweetest memory

A life time’s hit to glory.

I am the toughest goodbye

The regret after each why.

I am your companion in the hardest time

A tear to every rhyme.

A friend, a foe, and addiction, once ago.

I am your well wisher from far away,

Trying everyday.

Eva626

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Children, take notes.

I had a plan ever since I turned 19. Yea, I know… #hagLife. My plan was to get married at 20, become a doctor, and have beautiful children with a person I loved. This is life, and stuff doesn’t happen. There’s regret, misfortune, chaos, timing, career, family issues, yatta-yatta-yatta [that’s old for ‘blah blah blah’ #haglife remember].

So, here’s some tips and hints to life for the future children who are planning their life.

1) Keep planning cause organization is essential and it gives you hope. Plus, it helps to plan your classes while in undergrad so you don’t waste a chunk of your life at first base.

2) Plan the things YOU are able to do. Because not every thing goes accordingly especially if it involves other people.

3) Follow your dreams, passion, career goals, life style goals, even if they are hard and time consuming.

4) Focus on religion, your goals, family, food, and whoever you can help out. Speaking of , well more like mentioning lol food:

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3am craving

5) If you fall in love, marry that person, and if you don’t fall in love, marry someone according to your list (yes, there are lists for everything) and make sure you communicate with the other side often before changing your life….change is scary.

6) Keep yourself healthy and your teeth… its going to cost a lot of money to fix things in your body. Plus, you hav to accomplish your goals…so you don’t got time for no appointments and stuff. psht. #timeIsmoneyandYouth.

7) Live off of home remedies, unless you have allergies to something. Blame/thank genetics.

8) Turn to Allah in distress and happiness. There are points in your life that will cause you to go astray, but you can get back on it and try your very hardest to stay on the right path with Allah’s help. Remember:

“Allah says, ‘I am as my servant expects Me to be, and I am with him when he remembers me. If he thinks of Me, I think of him. If he mentions Me in company, I mention him in an even better company. When he comes closer to Me by a handspan, I come closer to him an arm’s length. If he draws closer to Me by an arm’s length, I draw closer by a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him. If my servant comes to Me walking, I go to him running.” (Al-Bukhari).

9) Drink lots of water.

-Peace Out!

Hopeless

i have low self esteem
everyone hates me
they think i have the family curse
i have bad character
i am a show off
i use people
i have too many imperfections
i am a waste of time to be heard by any family member
i am bossy and unreasonable
i am depressed
i make everyone else around me depressed
i am physically and mentally unattractive
i don’t have family values
i am irresponsible
and not worthy of love.
this was not a poem.

Monday

I woke up at 5am [Yes, its that kind of post], and got ready. I had packed my suitcase the night before…’see, how clever I am’ (my Mom’s catch phrase, nvm you won’t get it). I got in the shuttle and got to the airport two hours early, cause that’s how excited, and cautious I am. I slept once I got home.

Tuesday: I ate alot of my mom’s cooking. Yummmmm. Oh, I realized I got fat. Boo.

Wednesday: I can’t remember what happened here…oh wait nvm. i went to my undergrad with my brother, to help him get motivated for his internship application and stuff. Insha Allah he will get spot.

Thursday: I saw a movie during this week but idk. My husband and I went to dinner to Cheesecake Factory in Jersey… loved their veggie burger!

Friday: Jummah! We went to Brooklyn and prayed Friday prayer and I spent the day at the in-laws home. Daal and kabobs tho! We saw a movie, ‘Kingsmen’…. not as good as anticipated. Boo.

Saturday: I slept, ate, and then my parents took all of us for dinner. We got there around 12am lol. The food was mad good though…chicken tikka!!! Oh and CHAI.

Sunday: I packed and now I’m waiting to board. See you in a few hours, Chicago. And we’re back to no-one-wants-to-talk-to-her-cause-her-bad-character.

Peace…

Sunday

Day #1, was OK. I tried to be productive and stuff. I went for a walk in my school. Came back, and cleaned my share of the cleaning. Took out my room’s trash and vacuumed, sprayed my dresser and everything. Its a stress reliever. Oh, besides having a mental breakdown, crying my eyes out, and going on a verge of depression, I made food…eggs to be EGGxact.

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The simple things, remember.

I took a shower, a-nice-warm-to-the-point-of-burning-steaming-hot-shower. Alhumdulilah, that felt nice.

I talked to my family, and they suggested I should come home, to NY. I gave in after much deliberation (insert Mufasa’s stern,tone), I booked my flight for the morning after. Then in celebration I made myself an apple, yogurt, cottage cheese ‘ parfait ‘. It doesn’t look appealing in an image form so yea. It was tasty.

That was my first day of break week.
Peace Out!