I have friends.

So I was just talking to one of my friends on ‘whatsapp’ and decided I should write a post about the different friends I have or have had in the past. Each of them has had a huge impact on my life, in oneway or another.

1- The one from high school who I still stay in touch with but hardly ever see in person. That friend was with you through those four years, which btw kids, are not the best years of your life…College/Uni/Grad/Doctorate School are actually the best years of your life…I mean mine at least. Anyway, this friend took a plunge into life and reality before I did: I’m talking about all that jazz (I never would’a thought I’d ever say that). I’m talking about taking care of her siblings, then the sibling 14 yrs younger than her, then getting married at age whatever that you planned to get hitched, the jobs, and now that freaking-adorable-baby! UGH. May Allah bless you, my Best Friend! She taught me to find happiness in every situation.

2- Those couple of friends who you met in junior high school. You three where so close in highschool and even more so in College. I miss that. Their names would rhyme with the other and you’d feel like either the third wheel or the most important one. After graduation, ties just loosened up (metaphor) and we hardly talk now. None the less, they taught me to live life to the fullest.

3- The friend who you became friends with by accident. The best and worst of all. Seven seas apart and hearts in overlap. That was something. I still get the unintentional dreams about this person, even though its all ash now. My pally taught me to love and to love myself.

4- The College cutie. That shy friend you met as a freshman in College. The sweetest! She invited me to my first sleepover but I didn’t go since you know…we lived like three blocks away and my parents don’t like the idea of sleepovers at other people’s homes. She’s the one responsible for where I am today. Thanks for the inspiration, friend! She taught me to keep trying, and trying.

5- Born to and raised by the best of the best. My mama. She taught me everything; also how its ok to make mistakes and how to fix them.image 6- My frienemy. My sister and so many memories! My only sister taught me to fight for what I belive in and not to give a whatever from those people in the community. I still don’t know who they are. She also crushed my dreams of becoming a baker and now I am a candlestick maker person taking on the big world of bodily functions and what not. That sounds gross.

7- My first roommie. She was the one I cried in front of. I broke down so many times because of all the drama back in NY and else where. I go to her with my problems in a plate and she eats them for sure knows how to make you feel special. Thanks L.A chick…not Los Angeles…I meant Louisiana lol. She taught me that there are more people than the ones from NY lol, and to always keep hoping and praying for the best.

8- This Sikh person is now my first apt mate. First year here and she found out I was from NY as she was. The area code in a phone# could give away your life, I never knew. Well, she was Valedictorian of her high school and did get a full ride to Buffalo Univ. She taught me what its like to be faithful and have belief to your religion, and how there is more to life than chicken and eggs.

9- The new bestie I found too late. Yes, a Canadian, yet an exception. A kind friend she is. Yes, she woulda let you walk all over her. but she showed me and helped me to keep on going, and to recycle. I also taught her to toughen up. And she has.

10- The one who has my mother’s name. She takes care of me here. The friend who isn’t afraid to experience things or talk to random people. She taught me to calm down, because its not always the end of the world. This one taught me to appreciate myself and the awkward funny that I am [thats what she thinks, anyway].

11- These guys…my brothers. I’ll never be as cool or funny as they are. I just don’t want to disappoint them. I know they think I’m annoying and blah. They taught me to keep smiling and how to deal with all the nonsense. They taught me that I will always have them when I don’t know who to send the dumb puns/memes I find online.

10- You guys, who taught me to keep my memories alive.


Who wants me to make a movie?

Here’s a pigment of my imagination. An act, a screenplay if you will.


“I need closure, dang it. I don’t care. You know how I am”, Eva whispers with frustration in his ear, with one hand holding onto his forearm against the brick wall besides them and the other clenched shut withstanding the force of his fingers around her fist. She leans away, and positions her self off her tippy toes, looks up straight into his eyes with confusion. They both hear the footsteps of the other guests welcoming themselves out onto the rooftop as well. Eva shifts her eyes, as does he, looking towards the set of steps they were standing on. She walks down to the door and makes herself part of the crowd. He, flushed with emotions and fright disappears to the top level of the roof.

The group of girls linger around, looking out to the city, enjoying one anothers’ company. Eva glances to the top level to see him walk down and greet himself to everyone there, and shortly after heading towards the door. Reaching the door he stops and looks back at her with a still face and heads downstairs.

To be continued….

or not.


I need your help, if you can answer these dang questions, that would be great. I have some clue, on what I think the answers should be from what I feel, but lets face it, ‘pagal hogai’ (Insert voice of dramatic Phebe from Friends, ‘THIS IS MADNESS I TELL YOU, For the Love of God!!!’, which btw I finished for the second time, all seasons; twice… I mean, the show Friends.) as my mom would call me. So, I want to know if I am delusional for thinking how/what I do.


#evaEats Twister wrap with sweet potato fries from Natives Food Cafe in Chicago. Fav!!

1) What do you do if you yourself aren’t making someone happy, like if you’re in a relationship with them?
2) What can you do to make life better, in general?
3) How do you find someone who doesn’t want to be found?
4) What do you do when your potatoes are burning in the oven at 1am? (LOL jk. they aren’t burning yet).
5) Is it a good idea to ‘go with the flow’…if so in what circumstances. Which ones is it not to think like that?
6) Should one never ever visit a place just because they are now a ‘taboo’ amongst the people there?
7) Is getting closure a good idea?
8) How do you stop binges esp in the night time?
9) What’s your name?
10) Would you run away from a recurrent issue after you’ve tried to confront it?
11) Should I go to Comic Con Chicago, even if I go by myself?

OK, good luck. I’m not expecting much enthusiasm. None the less, I applaud you all for being here with me. Loners FTW. JK, I’m the only one lol (the good old generic lol. ah #jokes).

Useless Dream

I thought that moment passed, forgotten. Nope, just hidden in the back of my mind. “NafsiATi” [mind-related?] I tell you.  I should be freaking out about Finals, cause’ yes, its finals week, hence the distracting-me-getting-on-the-blog-flow. Typical. The dream is kind of fuzzy now, thank God. I woke up in the middle of it and wanted to go back into it. Darn that alarm and school. JK I love the Education, and need that alarm. Alhumdulilah.

It was a Sunrise. Beautiful, I know. Deal with it.

It was a Sunrise. Beautiful, I know. Deal with it.

It was you. Me. and some random girl who was supposedly my younger sister? Like, come on. Get out of my dream, you dweeb. I wanted a younger sister in real life, not in this dream [sure told her HA]. Anyway, it was personal. So close, and personal. Ah. It was…lovely, actually. However, a disappointment upon awakening. You were the same as I knew you, and so was I, except it was a dream and everything was not perfect, but that didn’t matter because we were there. Sticking together till the end. Together. My best friend. Always.

So…you guys want me to write about something specific…I mean if you people still exist. I’ve been so bad at blogging and stuff. Mostly bad at “stuff”. Yea, so tell me! I really want to write at least once a week. Lets see how that goes. BTW, Eid Mubarak?


Ramadan 2015 update post.


How are you? What have you guys been up to? I just hate being away from home during Ramadan! ITS so hard to be in “Ramadan” mode, without family. The Suhoor, the family, the ambiance, the feeling of sweetness, iftar everyday with family, the talking about life and Islam, rushing to the bathroom before anyone else (BAE lol) to make wudu first after iftar, reminding and being advised to stay on track, struggling together, getting ready for Tarawee, wearing my favorite Abaya (made in Turkey!), praying with all the sisters at the Majjid, bumping into all the sisters while leaving the Majjid after Tarawee, stopping at the gas station to get snacks, eating more when coming home, staying up till Suhoor while reading Quran, striving to finish the Quran and making it to every single Tarawee, seeing how grumpy my brothers get at Suhoor, Suhoor with family, praying with family, and trying to fall asleep after Fajr (SO HARD). I know, its a run on sentence. That was my life before Chicago, Alhumdulilah!

Yea so, an update to my life is that I am not planning to go to NY until December InSha Allah (If Allah wills). I just can’t… I used to be the first one out and about during even the week long breaks. Life. But, you already knew that!

Oh, and I am eating super unhealthy. I hate it. I miss my parents and my brothers so much. I miss being home so much that I am tempted to use a smiley. YA KUDAYA MADAD!!!!! Ramadan is almost over.

May Allah accept the wee bit of prayer, fasts, duas, and deeds we all have strived to do. Ameen. Please, if you are reading this, pray for me! [A LOT]. Jasak ALLAH Khair

SALAM from the sad-sad-oh-very-sad eva626. <3

Ramadan 1436/2015

We made it, Alhumdulilah! Its the 4th day of Ramadan. One more hour till Iftar aka opening my fast. This is the most “unique” type of Ramadan I am spending in my whole life…well, that I can remember. Its because I am alone in Chicago. Yea, I’m alone in the kitchen, in my room, during Suhoor, during Iftar. But, Alhumdulilah, I have my friends here to keep me motivated. Also, I have my family on the other side of skype and my deceptive cell phone. Its all good ;).

The other day, the Muslim girls in my educational institute…lol, hosted Iftar for us. It was like a “pot luck” or a “One-dish” as all you brown people like to call it. I made Gol Gappas, of course [that’s the thing with chickpeas and stuff, and you put that in the Panni Puri thing and eat it. Look it up]. Everyone loved them, surprisingly. I actually had to improvise without my original recipe, mostly in part because I lost my memory. LOL. Astigfirullah. I meant like I couldn’t remember it. That’s so bad. However, it worked! Unfortunately I couldn’t make the “coconut lemon aid” I wanted to. Time management issues I tell you.

Ramadan #2015 #1436 #Alhumdulilah #Blessing

Ramadan #2015 #1436 #Alhumdulilah #Blessing

I skyped with my family this morning at 3am, during their Suhoor time. That Bagaan tho [eggplant salaan my mom made for my family]. I miss my family. In other not so important news, I finished Season 2 of Agents of Shield. which means no more distractions for Ramadan. Its a really good show btw! Diverging off topic…Dua for me. I get lost a lot. I also have Clinic tomorrow…2 shifts! Then, I have another shift in the morning on Tuesday after our Exam! Ah.

YA KUDAYA, MADAD! [Lord, Help]

Anyway, I should prep for Iftar…by myself…for myself…with myself. Ah, its all good though!

Children, take notes.

I had a plan ever since I turned 19. Yea, I know… #hagLife. My plan was to get married at 20, become a doctor, and have beautiful children with a person I loved. This is life, and stuff doesn’t happen. There’s regret, misfortune, chaos, timing, career, family issues, yatta-yatta-yatta [that’s old for ‘blah blah blah’ #haglife remember].

So, here’s some tips and hints to life for the future children who are planning their life.

1) Keep planning cause organization is essential and it gives you hope. Plus, it helps to plan your classes while in undergrad so you don’t waste a chunk of your life at first base.

2) Plan the things YOU are able to do. Because not every thing goes accordingly especially if it involves other people.

3) Follow your dreams, passion, career goals, life style goals, even if they are hard and time consuming.

4) Focus on religion, your goals, family, food, and whoever you can help out. Speaking of , well more like mentioning lol food:


3am craving

5) If you fall in love, marry that person, and if you don’t fall in love, marry someone according to your list (yes, there are lists for everything) and make sure you communicate with the other side often before changing your life….change is scary.

6) Keep yourself healthy and your teeth… its going to cost a lot of money to fix things in your body. Plus, you hav to accomplish your goals…so you don’t got time for no appointments and stuff. psht. #timeIsmoneyandYouth.

7) Live off of home remedies, unless you have allergies to something. Blame/thank genetics.

8) Turn to Allah in distress and happiness. There are points in your life that will cause you to go astray, but you can get back on it and try your very hardest to stay on the right path with Allah’s help. Remember:

“Allah says, ‘I am as my servant expects Me to be, and I am with him when he remembers me. If he thinks of Me, I think of him. If he mentions Me in company, I mention him in an even better company. When he comes closer to Me by a handspan, I come closer to him an arm’s length. If he draws closer to Me by an arm’s length, I draw closer by a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him. If my servant comes to Me walking, I go to him running.” (Al-Bukhari).

9) Drink lots of water.

-Peace Out!