Me.

I don’t really introduce myself to people in real life. I am that person who would tell you who I am if you really asked, but if you didn’t I would be fine with not mentioning my name, where I’m from, etc… I don’t want you to think I am saying this to act ‘cool’ (idk why that is in air quotes), its just the way I am (also I’m not that cool). Its actually nice getting to know people and having people getting to know me. BuzzFeed already knows me, as they do everyone else on earth. Deny it if you will, but its some sort of statistical sorcery I tell you:

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You guys probably know about how I escape this world accidentally and sometimes purposely. Its through my dreams or lucid dreams (I think I am capable of doing this…its pretty cool). The time I get the perfect dream is in the morning…I wake up at 7:30am when my alarm goes off, use the restroom, and then I go back to sleep because I love the escape. I feel so magical. I then sleep for 2.5hrs and experience the best scenarios, with the same characters or the ones that are obviously the only ones invited. I tweeted this morning right after I woke up from this awesome dream, as most of you DO NOT KNOW, since I only have a lousy 4 fake followers on Twitter, thank you very much (LOL. JK you can follow me if you want, but I am fine with the 4 trolls).

So that is two things about me I wanted to share with you guys today. NOT THAT IT MATTERS (its fun acting salty when you really aren’t. K bye.)

-eva626

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Don’t wake me up.

This is about the dream I had this morning. Ok, this morning because I woke up at 8am to just use the restroom and then went back to sleep for 2 hrs. These were the best two hours.

I was invited to go on a week long family/friends reunion in some country not traveled to by any of my family/friends or me. We were all there. People who didn’t know each other, but people who knew me. There were little cousins, still as young as I remember them 5 yrs ago, and people who I see every so often. Everyone eating their petite appetizers prepared by me in my beautiful kitchen, part of my luxury home that had a patio/deck to an area of water led to by some natural stone steps. This was not even the highlight of this dream. All the little ones were playing, and all the adults were talking.

Even in my own “vacation?” home, I’m guessing thats what this was, since it was somewhere else in the world, where all good things happen OBVIOUSLY, I was still alone. I am alone most of the time and I don’t mind it. It only hurts when I feel lonely. I feel lonely most when I go back to NY, only when I am not around my siblings/parents. Its so sad because I used to love NY. So, I was just trying to be a good host and picking up after people, going into the kitchen and into the living room, back and forth, making sure every thing was intact, not broken, and also tidy. Then everyone just left to go out somewhere. I guess I missed the memo LOL. I was still cleaning and nobody picked up the “dusturkhan” [the sheet or cloth you put on the floor, where we normally eat food together]. So I go and grab the napkin to clean it off. I start the one end that is near the glass door and leads to the patio. Then I make my way to the other end, which is disturbingly more dimmed in lighting, now that I think about it. There is also a curtain on that side of the room. It sounds kinda creepy now. But yea, I do go towards that end and I see that arm [connected to a living person of course LOL. I read that line over and trust me this was not a nightmare. If it was, I would have either died and never woke up {not what I meant in the title of this post btw} or would have woke up asap leading me to not write this post at all].

Oh. That person came to my uncalled-for-reunion and hid from everyone, only to reveal himself to me! Great, people must think I am crazy now again. I move my eyes up to see that face. That smirk. “Hi”. Somehow I end up falling onto this person. I am guessing at this point we have stood up or something. IDK. But, I am a clumsy person in my dreams. I face palmed on to this person’s arm, making contact and I feel a nerve pull back, not from me. Yes, that mystery still has some modesty [insert dapper man with bowtie pretending to hold a plate of hors d’oeuvres up to his shoulders, with one hand]. The feels tho. I can’t explain the rest I don’t want to explain the rest. Anyway. I woke up and it was the worst thing ever. I wish this was real. Then I went to school to study for my final.

-eva626.

Living backwards

I’ve tried so many techniques of studying, eating, loving, and basically living. I have these phases every month or so. It’s easy to explain with food. Like last week I discovered the best thing ever… Halo Top ice cream. I bought every flavor at Whole Foods. I broke up the crazy purchase into two days. One where I used my one free delivery that Whole  Foods offer via instaCart (not sponsored. Idk why I had to say this lol I wish I was sponsored by [insert Simba voiceover: someone anyone) cause I’m savy and stupid like that; the second was when i went to Whole Foods myself in response to me thinking, ‘oh shoot, I don’t have any vegetables’. I had frozen ones still in the freezer with a bunch of other food my mind chose to block out. I went, I saw, I went bankrupt. I literally bought all the flavors and had 1.5 pints of it everyday. Now I have to resort to real food, since I ate the last half of a pint this morning for breakfast. I told this girl about my breakfast and she said what I did was ‘serious #goals’. Like wth, people need to be more practical and tell me to stop being a maniac.

Anyway, that phase is done just because it has to be. The other is about my studying habits… or not studying habits. Is this post getting too lengthy? If it is, leave [LOL why does that sound mean]. I used to be a freak about studying while I was in high school. Then this carried itself into undergrad, until my planning-ahead-OCD and some physical/mental issues I was going through took a toll on my ‘capabilities’ aka I didn’t give s&!@ [pardon my English. Don’t correct my sayings].

Then miraculously, came grad school and I started taking notes on how other people around me studied. I started doing what they did, which was studying every subject everyday and ace-ing every exam. Yea that didn’t work for me so I went back to doing what I do best, as all you lovely strangers already know. Procrastinate. It works for me so if you see me typing away on my phone during that one class that requires attendance, it’s because I’m building up my anxiety till two days before the exam.

Btw follow me on twitter @LadyNPerson

🙂

 

Come back, wondering mind.

I had a dream last night…it wasn’t a good dream. It was a worrisome dream. One that makes you stop and think about how I have to grasp reality and let go, since you already let go way before, which honestly kills me.  I was so scared to take a step forward into the past because I thought that it might make me go crazy of how much I want to go back. But, then in this dream, I did and it was like a slap in the face. I wanted this dream to stay a fantasy and one to where I can go and hide in when ever I felt alone or sad, but the dream was actually a wake up call, just call me an oxymoron will ya (get it LOL). For real though, it pulled me in and nothing! Like what, why, I really wish it was something. I wanted it to stay a sweet hiding place but it was rather blah…

Gosh. My escape became as bland as my reality. Thanks, dream you are such a nightmare. (LOL I did it again – not Britney)

-eva626

But seriously…

So I have this tendency to stay quite instead of saying something awful and false. That doesn’t mean I won’t say something awful and truthful. I also stay quiet when people make fun of me as to ignore the comment, because let’s face it, a false comment that is meant to be funny is not funny. People don’t understand this.   I’ll laugh when something is true and funny because it is simply  true. But when it’s not… it’s not. Simple right?

Well some people have this weird sense of humor that can sometimes involve violence, self hate (which is not ok at all), death (worst kinds of jokes right after crude humor), and just plain nasty things like bodily execrations… why is that even funny to you people? Men are the ones who make these stupid things are funny, still stereotyping in 2017, from experience of course. For instance, it’s not funny to make fun of your significant other, especially in front of people. And if you do, expect it to come back to you, but way more savage. Laugh about it then. I dare you.

When something is true and it bothers people around you, try to fix it. Laugh about it and accept it. Don’t make something up you found on the internet and blame that person for something so random and not proven, if not false.

Back to this:

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I was totally not kidding.

We meet again.

She enters the room and makes her way through the crowd to find the perfect corner. A friend joins her. They stand and catch up with one another while observing the other guests. She motions her hand through the side of her hair trying to tuck that one uncooperative strand behind her ear. Her hand moves down to her dark red shirt and across her hip to be gently placed, holding her other elbow as she listens to her friend’s story. As interesting as the conversation is, she can’t help but notice someone glancing her way every so often from across the room.

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She turns her head slightly to take a look at the man who she suspected to be looking her way. Her eyes still on him, as she waits for him to meet hers. And they do. His face flushed with embarrassment. She smirks a familiar smirk and he raises his eyebrows and shrugs his shoulders, as he does. Yes, they meet again.

She whispers in her friend’s ear, promising to tell her everything after she confronts the man. She walks up to him and tells him her motives. The words ‘we need to talk’, might be familiar amongst the norm, but this was the first and maybe the last for these two.

To be continued…