Obsession at its finest.

Hi all.

I know some of you might have gotten offended or annoyed on how ‘salty’ my posts have been lately. Its because my mouth has developed this sour taste from the world and its portrayed by how my attitude reflects how I am taking the events that have occurred in my life. I can’t deal. I just want to be alone, at least then I won’t be so lonely. I know, I am such a brat.

In other news, my body is decaying and my mind is melting.

I’ve been eating so bad…meaning, I have been eating the whole house while my parents are away. I feel sick. I’ll let you know my progress is by next week, on my oh-so-interesting-eating-habits, because thats always fun to read about. You get my vibe…I am not a happy person.

So, the title, as you have been waiting to be directed to is about my dangerous obsession with things, people, etc… through my life. As of now its basically whining over what I couldn’t have in the past and Gossip Girl. Yea, I am on season 6 now. It has died down. I think because I’ve been binge watching it for a long time now. I give myself breaks with all the youtube videos I try to catch up on in between a few episodes, but besides that I am a such a loser.  Still a living loser, in old wrinkly flesh. Eat me.

I have also been obsessed with those 10 sec bollywood videos on instagram. Nostalgia or whatever. Also that song from BajiRoa Mastani, Malhari. FAAT LOU LEE! Granted I didn’t like the movie, but that song is catchy even though I don’t understand it. Now, back to my insanity:  I get caught in the world of… what ifs and the whole ‘shoulda coulda woulda’ deal. I have created this endless spiral of depression where I sink in and I can’t seem to find anything positive  because all of that is lost in the past. I hate everything. BYE.

LOL. I will continue. I don’t have a friend to talk to or anyone I love. I am so close to losing my education and a means to support my family. I don’t want anyone else to be close to me. I have decided not to do anything and not to say anything until matters resolves…meaning until everything is ruined… not that anything was ever ok. The sad part is that what I wanted, noone else did. I can’t. Someone just pull the rug or trigger. LOL whatever that phrase is…i dont even know if its a real phrase.

You guys get it right? I am completely mad.

The time has come. Let the chaos begin.

or continue in my case.

-Eva626

 

 

 

Advertisements

Is it really a secret…

So, I’m not a social person relative to most of the people around me at the moment, but I thought that by now I would have picked up a few things. One thing that I apparently am still doing wrong is that I mistake things that come up in a casual conversation as being just that…casual. I don’t know anymore. If I wanted to not tell people about stuff, I wouldn’t…but if I do, I assume they might tell others but it wouldn’t be a big deal since I didn’t begin/end it with “don’t tell anyone”. Maybe I am just bad at reading cues or something. Are they even called cues?
What the heck is wrong with me. I don’t know words. Ugh. Only, sometimes tho.

Also, isn’t it supposed to be a thing with having¬†mutual friends…like if one person told you something, but said they told so and so something before they told you, is it not ok to expand on that conversation? I am so confused. Like, I thought this is why we have mutual friends…the same people who know the same stuff. Is it not? No, it isn’t. AHHHHHH. I’m still learning and I have learned not to say anything to anyone.

You know, maybe its a geographical thing…I need to do research on this. Somebody, give me some insight, please.

Oh, and from now on [just in case], I will employ my childhood go-to gesture of looking at my wrist/watch which ever is present, and walking away when people start to talk to me…about anything. Hold me to it, all you interested readers of mine. BTW, blogging is still a thing right? ¬†Ah. OK I feel kinda better after writing this. Kinda.

-eva626