Guest Post #3

We all like clothes right? …so why go out with barely none!? (haha. I’m so funny. JK) Anyway, this is a guest post [durf, it says it in the title]. In all seriousness, I have noticed this to be a huge topic on everyone’s mind… so much so that it frustrates me. Kinda. But, people are people, even though sometimes they turn into ‘annoying’ people. I should stop typing…take it away Sana!
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Modesty

Growing up in a western society, it is almost impossible for one to ignore all the flaunting half naked female super models. Boldness is now the new beauty. At least that’s what the media says. We’ve become so desensitized to seeing nudity in the fashion magazines that we no longer stop to think or question its affects on our lives, on our kids and our households. Our youth reveres these personalities so much that they want to emulate them completely. Generally, covering is considered old fashioned. Glamour magazines are being used as “holy texts” because the pressure on women and young teens to look a certain way is immense. Every woman wants to be like the girl in the magazine-the good, curvy, lusciously beautiful female. And women who do choose to dress modestly remain nameless and voiceless; usually viewed as people who have no sense of fashion and yet to experience or taste freedom, in essence desperate to be liberated.

Many of you reading this would probably have a different opinion than me when I say this, but why idolize women that haven’t done anything significant with their lives? Why not put the women, who’ve made significant contributions to the society, and who have complete control over their bodies, on the pedestals? As someone who spent her entire life in this country, I can relate to the experiences of our young Muslim sisters who often wonder where to turn to when in need of Muslim women who they can use as role models. A lot of women think that in order to be successful they must compromise their hijab, and many to a great extent have been affected by this sort of attitude. I came across an article recently which had been published during the New York Fashion Week. The article was about an American Muslim woman, Nzinga Knight, a fashion designer. In her article, she discussed the issues that concern the women in the west today, especially Muslim women. She made some very beautiful and logical points. One of which was that women in the western society think that they are liberated when in reality they are not because they aren’t standing on their feet based on their merit. The only reason they’ve come so far is because they have been doing away with their clothes. I agree with her. Usually, when fashion designers create innovative styles, they have one thing in mind and that is to make the catwalks as voluptuous as possible-creating designs that expose the back and cleavage. Nzinga knight, however, ended up doing something different. She introduced a modest way of dressing through her designs. She says in her article that “…sensuality isn’t always a public display of your skin.” Isn’t this a perfect example for all us Muslim sisters to boast our morale and help us to continue to follow the path of dressing modestly? This is a modern day example of a successful Muslim woman who carries religion in one hand and the world in the other. She’s seemed to have survived without compromising anything. So why can’t we?

Historically, I can recall another great Muslim woman who can be of a great role model for us Muslim sisters. Syeda Khadijah (may Allah be well pleased with her), the first wife of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). Syeda Khadijah (may Allah be well pleased with her) was a daughter of a wealthy trader by the name of Khuwaylid hence the name Khadijah binte Khuwaylid. Being born in the pre-Islamic era and being raised in a male chauvinistic society, Bibi Khadijah was already ahead of her time. The first Women’s Rights convention was held 1848, but Syeda Khadijah was running a successful trading business long before that. She was not only revered for being the first business lady, but also known for her exceedingly generous attitude towards the less fortunate and the orphans. She sought out to help the poor and needy especially young unmarried girls. She helped with the marriages of girls who were of poor descent and provided for them the dowry. She was referred to as the “princess of Quaraysh” because she was so wealthy. Syeda Khadijah (may Allah be well pleased with her) was deeply dedicated to Islam and always expressed gratitude towards Allah. She scarified all of her wealth for the survival of Islam and always stood by her husband’s side. Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) did not take him a second wife for as long as Syeda Khadijah (may Allah be well pleased with her) lived. All Praise is to Allah, the Al mighty for giving us such a beautiful woman in Islam to revere. Syeda Khadijah is perfect example of how a woman should be. She was a complete woman.
The list of famous historical as well as present day successful Muslim women goes on if one actually makes an effort to look for them. My sisters in Islam- let us look for these women, study them and embody their roles into our lives and be the beautiful creation of Allah that he wants us to be. This is not at all an attack on anyone who chooses to not dress modestly. Below is a link/video I’d like to share with all of you. It will add power to my words.

-Sana Khawar
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Ok, I am back. LOL. Hope you read through all of it…its pretty short actually, but very informative, I thought so. Sana Khawar also wrote another guest post here on yours truly’s [idk] blog. If you got distracted by the link in the very begining of this post, you might have been directed there. You are welcome. And here is another guest post…Check it out. And here is the page where you can find my guest posts I wrote on other people’s blogs. You better check them out [thats a bit harsh..eh watevs].

If you want me to guest post on your blog or website…I will love to do it!!! [please? I love guest posting and give me a topic] Also, if you want to be cool and guest post on my blog, I would LOVE that. It can be any appropriate topic and an image/video/whatever else would be nice with it. Just TELL ME [via comment or email, which is in one of the tabs/pages above this blog. [fine, its “herenownotforeva.gmail.com”].

Peace out, tell your mom I said hi. -eva626

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Guest Post #2

Hello people, today I have a very interesting article for you! One of my friends’ friend let me post up a post that she wrote for VerbalMuslim. She has about 6 articles written! Cool huh. Ok, so please read it ‘TILL THE END. Comments would be nice!

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In the name of God, the most Gracious, the most Compassionate
Before I start, I just want to say that reading the Quran with translation is one of the best things that has happened to me. All of us are proficient at reading the Arabic Quran, but not many of us take the time out to read the translation. I think it is so crucial for each and everyone of us to read the Quran with translation. On that note, let’s move on to my brief analysis of chapter 4, verse 34, Al-Nisa as stated below.

“Men are the maintainers of women because of that with which Allah has made some of them to excel the others and because of what they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.” –Al-Nisa Verse 34

In this argument, the determinant point is the meaning of the verse 34. Why is this verse so controversial? It is an issue of debate because it goes against the ethics of the modern western society and the notion of human rights. Beating is considered a violent crime and violence is condemned in all religions. Islam is a religion of peace so then why is beating your spouse (under extreme circumstances) permissible? My initial reaction after reading the translation of the verse was, “what? Beat them? How can (Allah) who loves you seventy times more than your own mother sanction such a law?” Upon further scrutiny of the verse, I realized I didn’t comprehend the nature of the verse. What does it really mean? To understand this verse, I had to analyze the following line:

“Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made them to excel the others and because they spend out their property, the good women are therefore obedient.”

Let’s dissect this line by first identifying gender roles and various characteristics that apply to both men and women. Men are naturally strong individuals; they have the ability to generalize and conceptualize abstract ideas. Men, generally, perform better at perceptual ability tasks as compared to women. Women, on the other hand, are fragile, emotional and delicate by nature. Therefore, it is safe to say that Allah has given men authority over women because of the qualities they possess. These traits allow them to serve as guardians and protectors of their women. Now, this does not mean a woman cannot do what she wants. This is a huge misconception that westerners have of Muslim women. Yes, a man looks after his wife in all her affairs but this does not mean that the woman loses her identity nor has identity of her own. She has freewill to do whatever it is that she wants to do as long as it is lawful. She can take part in any profession; keeping in mind her lawful duties towards her husband and children.

But if a woman is disobedient, how do you treat her?
“You fear recalcitrance, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places, and beat them;”

Let’s analyze the Arabic word for beating. The word ḍribūhunna” comes from the root word “daraba”, which means to hit, to strike, to set up, and to condemn. It also many times means to separate, to hide and to conceal. As many of you know that one Arabic word can have multiple meanings. The word “daraba” alone has over thirty different meanings, but in the Quran it is used at ten different places with ten different meanings. From this, one can see that each person that’s reading this verse reads according to his or her own understanding of the word. When I read the verse over with a better understanding of the word “daraba”, to me it meant that if a woman is rebellious and disobedient, she is (first) warned, (second) left alone, (third) separated from her husband (divorced, possibly).

Almost all the translations I came across had the word “beating.” Even with the word beating there, does it give a husband the authority to beat his wife viciously if she doesn’t listen to him? No. if one carefully examines Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) life and his conduct towards his wives, one will not find any Hadith that talks about the Prophet (pbuh) hitting any of his wives. Prophet (pbuh) said: “Woman is but a doll; he who takes it should not destroy it.” The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) used to wonder aloud: “How can you embrace the woman with a hand you had hit her with?” This goes to show that hitting your wife is not at all encouraged in Islam.

Many people will still come forward and say, “But it’s still there, the word beating is in the Quran” my line of defense is “well so is stoning women in the bible. Why does the bible say ‘…the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die.’- Deuteronomy 22:13-21. So if your wife is not found a virgin on the wedding night, she has to be stoned to death. So, before anyone jumps to say that Islam allows the beating of women, please explain to me the idea of stoning women in the bible.

In the end, I want to close off by saying that if certain individuals misuse this verse to misrepresent the religion, then it is the individual’s fault, not the religion’s. Islam is a beautiful religion and it does not de-humanize women in any way.  I am a Muslim woman and I have freewill. I have freedom and I walk shoulder to shoulder with men, proudly.

Allah knows best!
–  Sana Khawar

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I loved reading her post…it clears so many things. I think everyone should use the capability to think and research on any topic before making a judgement. Thanks for reading!

Suggestions, por favor

I need suggestions. What should I write about, change, add, delete, etc… How does one get more traffic on their blog? This seemed very easy to me in the beginning. That was because in ‘the begnning’ I used to follow blogs that were well maintained and well groomed LOL . I thought it was easy. But then I started thinking, how do they have so many followers?!?. RESEARCHING on the topic gave me insight on the process that I have yet to accomplish.

First, write about ‘stuff’ people care about [unless the blog is a personal one and the blogger wants to keep it private with low traffic]. Write clearly with minimum to none grammatical errors. I try to do this often… although my replies to comments aren’t so grammatically correct but who cares. Speaking of replying…REPLY to comments you get. I comment on other people’s posts and I always check back to see what they replied. It feels good, I don’t know why, but it does. Treat your readers like guests, or friends. Invite them, encourage them to come back. The last thing you want is to scare the reader away. So when someone greets you on your “about page‘, you should go back to their blog and check out what is going on there. Treat readers the way you want to be treated.

I am a ‘noobie’ [someone called me that a couple of days ago] at blogging. So I want suggestions to help me improve this place. Also, the people who ‘like’ my posts, please comment too! I want to hear many, many, many suggestions from as many people that read this. I think my point is clear now.

Lets exchange suggestions for some fruit salad (fruit chaat) !

Oh yea, I wrote a guest post here: Check it out! 

Coupled Guest post #1

Incase people got bored of me, eva626, posting every single post (cause its my blog lol), some of my guests wrote a little ‘somethin somethin’ for my blog. Actually, I wanted them to write something for my blog. These two people are very different people with very different lives. I thought it might cool to have them write a little piece for this post. I also chose these people to write the guest post because they were the only people who agreed to write one. FAIL. Also if you’d like to write a guest post here, just email me! [Btw, sorry if this post appears to be very lengthy…three people wrote it].

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First off is my friend ‘Amz’. A little about her: she has known me for about eight years, I think. She comments on my blog often because she loves what I write…I think (I am guessing lol). She is ultra thin even though her stomach vacuums in various amounts of junk food. She is a great cook, she’s a house maid (for her family), she does her siblings’ homework every time, and she is the sibling I always wanted. Amz’s post:

“Recent Trip to my homeland and my wedding

In Feb i went to Pakistan after 11yrs, to get married. Well the travel was horrible, because there were so many crying babies on the plane. When we landed at the Islamabad airport we had to wait for them to bring a ladder, yes a ladder out side and it was raining, and to top it all we had to wait 10 min out on the run way for a bus that would take us to the airport. This travel made me so cranky, but when I got of the airport, there i saw my soon to be husband. The caterpillars in my stomach became butterflies when he said “Hi, how r u?” and i could not speak all I did was smile like crazy. Everyday I counted down days till my wedding n did a lot of sight seeing. My home town had changed, the roads were clean and smooth, then restaurants were amazing. People there made fun of me when ever i spoke urdu, they said i have a funny accent which i can’t notice. Well anyways then the big day came, i was so jumpy and happy from excitement. My wedding day was the best day of my life, I married a person who is perfect and exactly the way I wanted my husband to be. He took gud care of me when i was sick. He was never embarrassed by me when i did silly things, like one time when we went to a fancy restaurant to eat, i was trying to cut my steak and my fork flew over and under the table and a broccoli fell on my lap, how clumsy of me. And most of all he really loves me n with him my life is perfect and complete. I Love my life (insert smily) “

Amz’s mayo picture

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Next is ‘Sis’. She is my only sister (the eldest of us all), known me all my life, and has been mentioned in previous posts. She loves baking, bollywood, and bangra. Sis’s post:

“So I was asked to write a guest post. I usually do my own writing but since it’s my birthday, I’ll be nice and do it for my sister. I guess I’ll talk about what everyone always thinks about: Dreams. It’s funny that our whole life revolves around fulfilling that dream. I know because I myself have a dream that I have been working on since, FOREVER. It gets frustrating when you see no progress but what’s even more frustrating is other people’s dreams getting in the way. I know I sound selfish. But, what does a person do then? What if your dreams are not what your loved one’s want? Who really decides at the end whose dreams are more important? Would it make the individual selfish if he/she follows their own path instead the one laid out by others? Basically, you can never make everyone happy but would the ones that you hurt understand? Is following your dream worth the anger? I don’t have any of the answers but it’s I think that everyone’s answers would be different. It all depends on an individual’s own strength (if they can indeed stand up for themselves), and the people that surround that them. Honestly, I thought this post was going to go in more of a positive direction but it came out more philosophical. So, I’m just going to go and finish flipping through my organic chemistry book (my failed attempt at studying). PEACE!”

That is not her, but she loves sun hats.

Thank you both, Amz and Sis, for your time. It was strange when I put this post together…talk about mixed feelings huh. (LOL)