The right vs silence.

I think you people might or might have not noticed that I haven’t written anything in months that some of the posts I wrote from previous time [haha idk whats going on with my verbiage…see] are “protected”. Sounds mysterious huh…well they aren’t. I have decided to protect the posts that revolve around what I am “upto” and my “daily happenings”. But, I will keep my other posts public…you know, like the ones that are helpful to others or the kinds that can potentially make a change in the lives of others, even if they have a silly lesson to it or if they make you laugh [because I am that funny. no]. I have left some of my “best” work public as well [rated on the “comment and liking” count of viewers and on every time I LOL whilst reading them myself]. Anyway, that was just a small update on how I will be managing this blog from now on till the end of its existence [managing…lol].

Now to the good stuff. So for a good chunk of this year, my life has been…annoying. But, Alhumdulilah, I have reached the end of it. OMG, its almost 2014!!! [I actually just realized hah]. BTW, I will be having a ‘Farewell 2014’ post up, which yes, will be protected. And, if you people are dying [GOD forbid] to read it, send me an email and I will give you the password [but first I dare you to figure it out yourself]. So, about this post, which is being written right now this very second, well not for you of course, ah, k im done. its not really about my life entirely. It is about you…us…everyone who thinks they are “doing the right thing” or wants to. Its about that good person in you that is trying to make you a better person and trying to help those around you to be better people, no matter how hard it is.

I know that its hard to stop something that is wrong and to straighten things out. But, when it is, you should go for it, because it does really matter at the end…you know, like when you have to stand there waiting to be judged with your book in your hand [the Right hand InShaAllah]. Wow, thats scary. The harder it is to stop the wrong, the more reward [If God wills]. There have been instances where I had to be that person who tells a friend, a sibling, a special person, or even my parents that what they are doing is wrong or that they should do something other than that. Its really hard. It hurts when these people then get annoyed at you for saying such things and they make you feel guilty of how you are a “goody two-shoes” [I never understood that analogy, but it still hurts…weird]. Then all those moments and memories stir past you and you feel like a hypocrite and what not…ahhhhhh. At the end of the day, you know that God knew your intentions and no matter how mad or annoyed those people get at you, you did the right thing.

I am writing this stuff because in the past year, I had a friend who I thought was one way and who I thought was this “person”, but turns out that the words did not match the actions. I mean even if something was done, I didn’t know. How am I supposed to know what was going on? I wanted and even now want something to happen or have continued, but the words of others don’t match yours that person’s. Idk who is right and who is lying. I have come to a point where I can no longer trust that friend…is it me that is wrong? I have no idea…I think its because nothing is being done. So, you can see why this is an issue…I do not stand for lying. Why, because it is wrong. And lying is a sin. So, no matter how good of a person someone trys to be, and if they still lie, they can not be a good person. So, coming back to the title of this post, don’t do drugs do the right thing and don’t be silent about the wrong. Try to stop it, make it right, even if you have to drop your pride and apologize to who ever got hurt because of the people you know who did/said wrong. In other words, don’t be a wuss.

Oh, and we made smores!

Honey graham crackers, vegan marshmallows (or Halal ones), Any chocolate. Heat in oven for God knows how long. Eat!

Honey gram crackers, vegan marshmallows (or Halal ones), Any chocolate. Heat in oven for God knows how long. Eat!

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Grownup

HAHAHAHAH {maniac laugh…ha ha, fooled you all}. I’m a child, still. I know what you are thinking, well you most probably aren’t thinking this but watevs:

Things that Should make me a grownup…ONLY should. However, these points don’t prove anything:

1) I try to use correct grammar and spelling. This is unlike most of the immature beings that learned to use the internet way too soon.

2) I graduated college. Yes, I did. It happened a few months ago. I’m still a baby, OK.

My up-to date FaceBook picture...Its so funny, isnt it?

My up to date FaceBook picture…Its so funny, isnt it?

3) I have earned three degrees. That sentence was just me showing off a little. See…childish.

4) The understanding of why people do certain things and what they are thinking. This only proves I’m psychic. Nothing more.

5) I can give you a lecture on most things ‘nerd’ and ‘biological/chemical science’ based, to ‘parenting tips’ and ‘how not to look like a cross-dresser’.

6) Oh, I am moving to Chicago. {just a random thing most people do…move to a different place for so and so reason…ok fine, its for studies}.

7) I can rap…But, who can’t right?

Fine, I can't rap.  Follow me on twitter @Eva626_blogger

Fine, I can’t rap.
Follow me on twitter @Eva626_blogger

There you have it…I’m still not grown up. This post is dedicated to my sister. I have been thinking about what to write for a while. Its been about 20 days since my last post. LOL Sorry about that. I was too lazy to take my laptop out of the closet and my phone is either too small or I have big fingers to type a whole post. BTW the WordPress app for android is great now…I get the notifications on everything. It makes me happy. Anyway, many one or two people wanted to know more about me…so here you have it.

If you missed the point of this post: I am not an Adult or a Grownup {as my sister would argue, only because of my age}. I sure told her.

Protected: Lessons from the Hood.

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Gender Hormones

“Lustfully pleasing to the eyes, and burning up the desires within the animal inside” -eva626 . It has been so many years since my teenage years. Those are the worst [at least for the philosophical people], I think all of you might agree. The worst part for me, was that while everyone had a change/developed in height, biological features, mood swings, attitude problems…I was the frightened kid in the center of everyone’s mess: called puberty. With such a great power comes responsibly. LOL. I was a late bloomer, if thats what people call it. Anyway, living in the ‘west’, you experience so much that might shock the living daylights out of your brown parents. The thing is, the ‘western’ thinking is to adapt to these changes and use them to your full potential. I do not agree with this. Why would you want to expose yourself to impress the other gender…People like to sacrifice self worth for so called ‘liberation’, which in reality is merely an attempt to get molested, if you think about it. I may sound rude to people who live their life the western way (obviously), but you really shouldn’t think that if everyone is doing something its right. Lets get into the “freedom” thought that most teenagers, even in other countries have adapted to…

Ok, so girls statically and biologically will hit puberty earlier than males. So they start getting all these things in their head like, “I need those baby clothes to wear to school!” or “I HAVE to go out with my so-called-puny-friends-who-have-surpassed-the-need-to-follow-rules-of-people-called-their-parents”, and the very famous one “I need my privacy”. Girls are annoying when it comes to the duration of maturing…this is the stage where they are the most IMmature. Urg. I cant believe I was once like this..thank God it only lasted two years for me. The transition is a nightmare…believe me. I wished I never came out of my room and just sat there watching saturday morning cartoons and reruns on the other days for those two years. Another thing is that while these ‘growing girls’ [LOL this makes them sound like Giants] were developing this mindset, thanks to the media and irresponsible parents, they were also waiting for boys to ‘notice’ them. {puke and cooties}

Here’s something far more appealing than the other gender:

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Once boys reach puberty, bad things happen! Being a part of the science part of academia (its not a big deal, I’m just a suffering student, I know, you didnt care anyway) males will only and only think about females. Happy birthday Human nature. That is why there are certain limits these changing creatures (ones going through puberty) have to learn about. Limits to control your desires, what you look at, what you let others see, what you read/watch/do/think about; kids have to be taught what is more important, life or Gender Hormones.

Its critical to talk to your kids, siblings, anyone who is cant seem to control their hormones. You have to let them know that they are wasting their time and energy…and actions come with a price, consequences. Dating or stalking the other gender because you just have urges and attraction towards, doesn’t suffice. What is dating…its an excuse that people these days make to try to get to know/touch/etc… the other person. BAD THINGS HAPPEN! Most of the time, the girl gives in because her initiative, subconsciously speaking, is marriage. The guy, wants to date because his urges are satisfied that way, one way or another, commitment does not come to mind, because males live in the present most of the time. Pre-martial relationships are NOT the real deal. Why do you want to ‘try’ out something you might not be committed to. Because its fun, bad experiences make good stories, and you will hurt one another’s feelings, leave a scar on them so they suffer their whole life. Congratulations.

The way to control this problem…To Be Continued.

Private and Confidential

There was a point in my life where I had to change a few of my posts to private because I had tracked down a stalker. But I think I scared him/her away LOL. Sorry if you are still here. Now everything on this blog is public. I always had issues with sharing my personal life with people, be it family, friends, teachers, you guys, people on my Facebook and Twitter…yea. I love being anonymous here because at least I can share my general thoughts that might have to do something with the real me, without anyone actually knowing who I am. It might confuse some people because they don’t know my past or present. I am  fine with that. The main reason I blog is to waste time write out what I am thinking about without expecting advice from people. I just want someone to listen sometimes, even if it is you, who I don’t even know. Sometimes i feel that bloggers are more real than the real people I know.

Problems with sharing things with certain types of people:

-Parent: I tried this actually and sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. The problem with this is that parents do care, a lot, but they care too much. They will make a big deal about it because they care for you A LOT. If you don’t like their response, you should just keep quiet and ponder on why they answered in such a way. There is always a good reason because they care A WHOLE LOT. lol. And so this leads them to tell the older child…aka my nemesis sister [LOL a bit exaggerated]; this makes me uncomfortable.

-Friend: I don’t have any friends.

LOL joking. This here is also a problem…well, it kinda depends on what kind of a friend they are. If they are the opposite gender type of friend, they will think you are crazy. Don’t share your girl feelings with guys and viceversa. Biology makes it so that the other wont really understand what you are feeling. Of course there are exceptions, but to stay on the safe side…I would pass. Also, I am a girl [haha I know] and telling friends who are females doesn’t help. They’d just nod and agree with you, which isn’t a good thing because you are still stuck in the dilemma.

image

Sometimes I need to be alone with a mug of chai.

-Relative: Don’t do it, even if they are your cousins, because your story will definitely reach other people. First, it will be transferred to their close cousins, then their mom’s, who are most probably your mom’s sister, and then your mom will know…. None the less before your mom knows it will reach every Raza.com member around the world.

-Sibling: Some of us have really close ties with our siblings or a particular one, so its easy to spill the beans (purposely) and share your issues. But then there are families like mine, where we cringe when one of us shares their inner thoughts. The environment that some cultures have created is so messed up. You can’t share anything personal with your siblings. It might be because the headline will reach the parents or because you might just be too embarrassed, since your dealing with serious critics. But we trust our siblings more than others; the good thing here is that what happens in the neutral family stays inside. This might be the second best option after the last one below.

-Blog: Its simple, but sometimes indirect. Its kinda risky though, since if someone catches on, they might be offended. You shouldn’t want to offend people. So, think, think, write, re-read, think, then publish.

-The one you can always trust is God.

You had to leave

Classes started a couple of days ago. Summer is gone and I am sad about that! Ramadan and Eid flew by…Note: when time flies, you know Judgement Day is near. My siblings are growing up so fast. They are all leaving for college and will be busy with new schedules. Now me and my baby-14-year-old-brother will see eachother’s faces without interruption. I am fine with that but he finds me quite annoying haha [no worries, kido…we both have school in the day].

I AM SO SAD. I guess we all just have to realize that the moments we have right now are the most precious and we should make the best of them. I did say I was going to expose my summer doings [sounds sinful huh] when it ends…although I was not prepared to do it so soon. Oh well. Lets read the list:

1- I did not learn to drive. FAIL

2- I learned to bake! Well, it was more like following instructions from online recipes lol.

3- I helped plant stuff…which grew into eggplants, cucumbers, flowers, peas, spinach, mint, and basil. God’s blessings.

We also had our own ‘manual’ bbq. Delish!

4- Ramadan happened and I loved it.

5- ‘Met’ some interesting people on twitter and wordpress. Great learning experience.

6- I got a new phone. Unexpected. Bad timing, because I just got it a couple of days ago and its extending my summer mentality [this is bad since classes this semester are already so rough].

7- I started making video diaries for my siblings who would miss out on our daily boring lives at home. This has nothing to do with what happened to me during the summer, but who cares [also, it doesnt make sense ’cause the house is not as full as it used to be since its mainly the parents, me and the young’in [LOL at the word ‘young’in]].

I probably did more things, but cant think of them. Dang it, I have class in the mornings…its 2 am and I am still awake eating Eggos. Yea, this post is full of nonsensical events. I am done.