Don’t wake me up.

This is about the dream I had this morning. Ok, this morning because I woke up at 8am to just use the restroom and then went back to sleep for 2 hrs. These were the best two hours.

I was invited to go on a week long family/friends reunion in some country not traveled to by any of my family/friends or me. We were all there. People who didn’t know each other, but people who knew me. There were little cousins, still as young as I remember them 5 yrs ago, and people who I see every so often. Everyone eating their petite appetizers prepared by me in my beautiful kitchen, part of my luxury home that had a patio/deck to an area of water led to by some natural stone steps. This was not even the highlight of this dream. All the little ones were playing, and all the adults were talking.

Even in my own “vacation?” home, I’m guessing thats what this was, since it was somewhere else in the world, where all good things happen OBVIOUSLY, I was still alone. I am alone most of the time and I don’t mind it. It only hurts when I feel lonely. I feel lonely most when I go back to NY, only when I am not around my siblings/parents. Its so sad because I used to love NY. So, I was just trying to be a good host and picking up after people, going into the kitchen and into the living room, back and forth, making sure every thing was intact, not broken, and also tidy. Then everyone just left to go out somewhere. I guess I missed the memo LOL. I was still cleaning and nobody picked up the “dusturkhan” [the sheet or cloth you put on the floor, where we normally eat food together]. So I go and grab the napkin to clean it off. I start the one end that is near the glass door and leads to the patio. Then I make my way to the other end, which is disturbingly more dimmed in lighting, now that I think about it. There is also a curtain on that side of the room. It sounds kinda creepy now. But yea, I do go towards that end and I see that arm [connected to a living person of course LOL. I read that line over and trust me this was not a nightmare. If it was, I would have either died and never woke up {not what I meant in the title of this post btw} or would have woke up asap leading me to not write this post at all].

Oh. That person came to my uncalled-for-reunion and hid from everyone, only to reveal himself to me! Great, people must think I am crazy now again. I move my eyes up to see that face. That smirk. “Hi”. Somehow I end up falling onto this person. I am guessing at this point we have stood up or something. IDK. But, I am a clumsy person in my dreams. I face palmed on to this person’s arm, making contact and I feel a nerve pull back, not from me. Yes, that mystery still has some modesty [insert dapper man with bowtie pretending to hold a plate of hors d’oeuvres up to his shoulders, with one hand]. The feels tho. I can’t explain the rest I don’t want to explain the rest. Anyway. I woke up and it was the worst thing ever. I wish this was real. Then I went to school to study for my final.

-eva626.

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Come back, wondering mind.

I had a dream last night…it wasn’t a good dream. It was a worrisome dream. One that makes you stop and think about how I have to grasp reality and let go, since you already let go way before, which honestly kills me.  I was so scared to take a step forward into the past because I thought that it might make me go crazy of how much I want to go back. But, then in this dream, I did and it was like a slap in the face. I wanted this dream to stay a fantasy and one to where I can go and hide in when ever I felt alone or sad, but the dream was actually a wake up call, just call me an oxymoron will ya (get it LOL). For real though, it pulled me in and nothing! Like what, why, I really wish it was something. I wanted it to stay a sweet hiding place but it was rather blah…

Gosh. My escape became as bland as my reality. Thanks, dream you are such a nightmare. (LOL I did it again – not Britney)

-eva626

Continued…

He walks into the room and quickly finds an empty spot on the sofa next to one of the uncles. His friend, standing to the side, comes forward and looks at him with brows raised, in a matter of question. He smirks, and mouths out the word, ‘nothing’. After a good fifteen minutes of listening and nodding to the conversation of the men in the room, he excuses himself and heads outside. There, he first looks up toward the upper level of the house, sighs, and sits on the front steps.

Mood. (image via google images)

Mood. (image via google images)

He hears footsteps coming from inside. They sounded like heels for the first few steps, which then disappeared. Now the sound was of flats, shuffling, hitting the ground and getting closer. The metal door creeks open, and he turns to see her, with her phone to her ear and a tear on her cheek. She doesn’t notice him sitting there. He pulls up his arm and waves before she steps out. He sees her look down right at him with a blank face, turns her phone off, and says, ‘what’. He bits his lower lip, gets up, looks at the sky and then at her and says, ‘you know, you’re still a likeable kind of weird’.

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Ok, so what should the title of this be? Any suggestions? Anyone want to fill in the next post and create some suspense?

eva626

Man is ungrateful.

“And it is He who has brought you to life, then He will cause you to die, then bring you to life (again); most surety man is very ungrateful”(Quran, 22:66)

“Surat Al-‘Insan [verse 3] – Indeed, We guided him to the way, be he grateful or be he ungrateful.”

Its true. Take me for example. I mean I have gotten what ever I ever wanted, when I wanted it. My mom always reminds me of this. Its good, Alhumdulilah, but then if that thing that I wanted wasn’t good for me or even if it was, I feel like I become a monster [exaggerating?]. Well, not a ‘monster-monster’ [lol I only picture monsters that eat everything in their path], I mean like a confused-monster person. I guess I get so confused or just want to make things work. Whatever, this doesn’t have to make sense to anyone except me right now. Great, I sound selfish now.

I'm not a cat fanatic, [more of a rock person tbh] but this image will do.

I’m not a cat fanatic, [more of a rock person tbh] but this image will do.


All I have to do is pray and dua to Allah. I want to feel content.

Day #24

Don’t make decisions in haste. Tell everyone who is putting their input in the matter, the whole truth. Be patient. Otherwise you’d be regretting everything and have to make everything else work. In that case, make a lot of Dua. Hopefully, you are just being a brat. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what you did was right, except I can’t help it, but always see the good.

The point is keep yourself busy the rest of your life now
The point is who cares about what other people think
The point is you shuda been patient.
The point is start wishing for a miracle.
The point is Person.
The point is I’m a brat.

The point is, ‘Make Dua to Allah, be patient, and focus on the miserable four weeks of studying for exams and practicals, fool.

Salam. Peace!