Not choosing a suitor

Hi readers, 

Here’s a topic that is more of self-help for my fellow gals, or a drop-dead shocker to all the aunti’s and old-controling-male-hags of the world. I used to write posts of love and marriage and how everything is so grand and blah blah blah bs.

Well, things change depending on circumstances and basically who you have chosen or who was chosen for you, and you being the best little goody two shoes of the household, agreed upon it. 

Ill just say it now: NEVER GO FOR A FOREIGN BORN BROWN MALE.

First off, you can already tell their lack of intelligence when they try to argue about the dumbest things like, oh so genetics isn’t a real thing or if cancer is real then how come people in the past never had it. All that nonsense that most people won’t have the energy to quarrel on. Like come on, try going to college first. Oh, and the best ones are those questions after you say the very normal words, “duration” or “convenience” followed by the true stupid questions “what do you mean, duration?”. Really? its a darn word…go look it up. 

Second, you’re living in this time era not the one of your zameen (land) in the 18th century. They’ll force you to be apart of their family…nothing is wrong with that except the word FORCE. No, you married that one person not the whole dang kandaan (family). They don’t take into account what type of person they are with, in terms of born and raised in a certain place, in a certain time.

Third, mentality at its finest. OLD. Today’s time and issues are different from way back then. Islam has made it so that people can accommodate on certain issues (not all but ones that take into account the place and time). Rulings and living, etc… Each has its place in life and should be followed. Stick to what you know is right and try NOT to compromise on things you know that are wrong. You might get in trouble with some things I’ve said here, so don’t listen to me for the most part (disclaimer). You’ll always be seen as the bad one, especially because of the cultural differences. Kill that culture if you don’t like it. It might kill you in the processes but so be it. Ha. I am already half way dead. 

Some advice, tell them to deal with it or leave. Of-course you won’t be able to directly, cause your mom, who is also sucked into the stupid social expectation and drama…from noone that really even cares. So you try it for a year, do whatever and hold up your own. When your family goes out of the country leaving you behind like a piece of trash, you drop those cherished words that you’ve been saving ever since two months in, “Like you said before, this isn’t working, you should talk to the parents”. 

Fourth, only go for someone who you fell in love with because no matter how ludicrous and old fashion they may be, you’ll always find a way to love them. But, if its arranged, just don’t do it   you should know what you will be dealing with… a slow death everyday . Heck, even the immigration lady predicted “it doesn’t look like its working out”. Lets see if that holds true. 

Love Cyrus. 

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Man is ungrateful.

“And it is He who has brought you to life, then He will cause you to die, then bring you to life (again); most surety man is very ungrateful”(Quran, 22:66)

“Surat Al-‘Insan [verse 3] – Indeed, We guided him to the way, be he grateful or be he ungrateful.”

Its true. Take me for example. I mean I have gotten what ever I ever wanted, when I wanted it. My mom always reminds me of this. Its good, Alhumdulilah, but then if that thing that I wanted wasn’t good for me or even if it was, I feel like I become a monster [exaggerating?]. Well, not a ‘monster-monster’ [lol I only picture monsters that eat everything in their path], I mean like a confused-monster person. I guess I get so confused or just want to make things work. Whatever, this doesn’t have to make sense to anyone except me right now. Great, I sound selfish now.

I'm not a cat fanatic, [more of a rock person tbh] but this image will do.

I’m not a cat fanatic, [more of a rock person tbh] but this image will do.


All I have to do is pray and dua to Allah. I want to feel content.

Ramadan 2014 evrrry day

Well, for a month that is. Ramadan is starting soon, Insha Allah. It might start this Saturday or Sunday!!! Oh my Allah, can you believe it!? We are about to experience the blessed month once again! Last year I wrote a short post about it [I think I hyperlinked it correctly]. This year I am planning [because I plan everything…smh] to write a blog post everyday for Ramadan. I know, I know, “but you’re such a bad blogger blah blah blah. You always say you will post more often…blah blah blah.” Yea, but I am trying to change that. Lets see how it goes.

Oh, and I am not going to write about some random useless situation that I experienced during the day, ’cause I don’t do much besides sleep during my breaks I am instead going to write such events or situations we all might be dealing with and how to link it to Islam. Ramadan is such a special month [read the link I have above], I want to always be thinking about the religion, God [Allah], the Prophet (Peace be upon him), and everything related. So, I will, with Allah’s help, not waste my time doing dumb stuff, but instead will try to gain as much knowledge and act on that. Its tough… I will control my ego and put up my faith before anything Insha Allah. I will pray and read Quran and try to be a better Muslim and a better human and I will stop writing run on sentences [well, maybe not the last one].

All I want from you guys, if you are still here…Idk many people stopped reading my posts. I think its ’cause I dont write routinely [but thats going to change, remember?]. Anyway, all I want from ‘whoever’ is still reading my posts, to encourage me and one another to be a better person, someone who wants to learn about the world, its Creator, the lessons taught from the beloved Prophet (Peace be upon him), things that are bound to happen aka DEATH and how to prepare for it. So, all I ask from you is to, after reading each post, please comment on your thoughts, so I keep going, at least for the month of Ramadan. Thanks.
Peace out.

The right vs silence.

I think you people might or might have not noticed that I haven’t written anything in months that some of the posts I wrote from previous time [haha idk whats going on with my verbiage…see] are “protected”. Sounds mysterious huh…well they aren’t. I have decided to protect the posts that revolve around what I am “upto” and my “daily happenings”. But, I will keep my other posts public…you know, like the ones that are helpful to others or the kinds that can potentially make a change in the lives of others, even if they have a silly lesson to it or if they make you laugh [because I am that funny. no]. I have left some of my “best” work public as well [rated on the “comment and liking” count of viewers and on every time I LOL whilst reading them myself]. Anyway, that was just a small update on how I will be managing this blog from now on till the end of its existence [managing…lol].

Now to the good stuff. So for a good chunk of this year, my life has been…annoying. But, Alhumdulilah, I have reached the end of it. OMG, its almost 2014!!! [I actually just realized hah]. BTW, I will be having a ‘Farewell 2014’ post up, which yes, will be protected. And, if you people are dying [GOD forbid] to read it, send me an email and I will give you the password [but first I dare you to figure it out yourself]. So, about this post, which is being written right now this very second, well not for you of course, ah, k im done. its not really about my life entirely. It is about you…us…everyone who thinks they are “doing the right thing” or wants to. Its about that good person in you that is trying to make you a better person and trying to help those around you to be better people, no matter how hard it is.

I know that its hard to stop something that is wrong and to straighten things out. But, when it is, you should go for it, because it does really matter at the end…you know, like when you have to stand there waiting to be judged with your book in your hand [the Right hand InShaAllah]. Wow, thats scary. The harder it is to stop the wrong, the more reward [If God wills]. There have been instances where I had to be that person who tells a friend, a sibling, a special person, or even my parents that what they are doing is wrong or that they should do something other than that. Its really hard. It hurts when these people then get annoyed at you for saying such things and they make you feel guilty of how you are a “goody two-shoes” [I never understood that analogy, but it still hurts…weird]. Then all those moments and memories stir past you and you feel like a hypocrite and what not…ahhhhhh. At the end of the day, you know that God knew your intentions and no matter how mad or annoyed those people get at you, you did the right thing.

I am writing this stuff because in the past year, I had a friend who I thought was one way and who I thought was this “person”, but turns out that the words did not match the actions. I mean even if something was done, I didn’t know. How am I supposed to know what was going on? I wanted and even now want something to happen or have continued, but the words of others don’t match yours that person’s. Idk who is right and who is lying. I have come to a point where I can no longer trust that friend…is it me that is wrong? I have no idea…I think its because nothing is being done. So, you can see why this is an issue…I do not stand for lying. Why, because it is wrong. And lying is a sin. So, no matter how good of a person someone trys to be, and if they still lie, they can not be a good person. So, coming back to the title of this post, don’t do drugs do the right thing and don’t be silent about the wrong. Try to stop it, make it right, even if you have to drop your pride and apologize to who ever got hurt because of the people you know who did/said wrong. In other words, don’t be a wuss.

Oh, and we made smores!

Honey graham crackers, vegan marshmallows (or Halal ones), Any chocolate. Heat in oven for God knows how long. Eat!

Honey gram crackers, vegan marshmallows (or Halal ones), Any chocolate. Heat in oven for God knows how long. Eat!

Guest Post #3

We all like clothes right? …so why go out with barely none!? (haha. I’m so funny. JK) Anyway, this is a guest post [durf, it says it in the title]. In all seriousness, I have noticed this to be a huge topic on everyone’s mind… so much so that it frustrates me. Kinda. But, people are people, even though sometimes they turn into ‘annoying’ people. I should stop typing…take it away Sana!
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Modesty

Growing up in a western society, it is almost impossible for one to ignore all the flaunting half naked female super models. Boldness is now the new beauty. At least that’s what the media says. We’ve become so desensitized to seeing nudity in the fashion magazines that we no longer stop to think or question its affects on our lives, on our kids and our households. Our youth reveres these personalities so much that they want to emulate them completely. Generally, covering is considered old fashioned. Glamour magazines are being used as “holy texts” because the pressure on women and young teens to look a certain way is immense. Every woman wants to be like the girl in the magazine-the good, curvy, lusciously beautiful female. And women who do choose to dress modestly remain nameless and voiceless; usually viewed as people who have no sense of fashion and yet to experience or taste freedom, in essence desperate to be liberated.

Many of you reading this would probably have a different opinion than me when I say this, but why idolize women that haven’t done anything significant with their lives? Why not put the women, who’ve made significant contributions to the society, and who have complete control over their bodies, on the pedestals? As someone who spent her entire life in this country, I can relate to the experiences of our young Muslim sisters who often wonder where to turn to when in need of Muslim women who they can use as role models. A lot of women think that in order to be successful they must compromise their hijab, and many to a great extent have been affected by this sort of attitude. I came across an article recently which had been published during the New York Fashion Week. The article was about an American Muslim woman, Nzinga Knight, a fashion designer. In her article, she discussed the issues that concern the women in the west today, especially Muslim women. She made some very beautiful and logical points. One of which was that women in the western society think that they are liberated when in reality they are not because they aren’t standing on their feet based on their merit. The only reason they’ve come so far is because they have been doing away with their clothes. I agree with her. Usually, when fashion designers create innovative styles, they have one thing in mind and that is to make the catwalks as voluptuous as possible-creating designs that expose the back and cleavage. Nzinga knight, however, ended up doing something different. She introduced a modest way of dressing through her designs. She says in her article that “…sensuality isn’t always a public display of your skin.” Isn’t this a perfect example for all us Muslim sisters to boast our morale and help us to continue to follow the path of dressing modestly? This is a modern day example of a successful Muslim woman who carries religion in one hand and the world in the other. She’s seemed to have survived without compromising anything. So why can’t we?

Historically, I can recall another great Muslim woman who can be of a great role model for us Muslim sisters. Syeda Khadijah (may Allah be well pleased with her), the first wife of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). Syeda Khadijah (may Allah be well pleased with her) was a daughter of a wealthy trader by the name of Khuwaylid hence the name Khadijah binte Khuwaylid. Being born in the pre-Islamic era and being raised in a male chauvinistic society, Bibi Khadijah was already ahead of her time. The first Women’s Rights convention was held 1848, but Syeda Khadijah was running a successful trading business long before that. She was not only revered for being the first business lady, but also known for her exceedingly generous attitude towards the less fortunate and the orphans. She sought out to help the poor and needy especially young unmarried girls. She helped with the marriages of girls who were of poor descent and provided for them the dowry. She was referred to as the “princess of Quaraysh” because she was so wealthy. Syeda Khadijah (may Allah be well pleased with her) was deeply dedicated to Islam and always expressed gratitude towards Allah. She scarified all of her wealth for the survival of Islam and always stood by her husband’s side. Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) did not take him a second wife for as long as Syeda Khadijah (may Allah be well pleased with her) lived. All Praise is to Allah, the Al mighty for giving us such a beautiful woman in Islam to revere. Syeda Khadijah is perfect example of how a woman should be. She was a complete woman.
The list of famous historical as well as present day successful Muslim women goes on if one actually makes an effort to look for them. My sisters in Islam- let us look for these women, study them and embody their roles into our lives and be the beautiful creation of Allah that he wants us to be. This is not at all an attack on anyone who chooses to not dress modestly. Below is a link/video I’d like to share with all of you. It will add power to my words.

-Sana Khawar
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Ok, I am back. LOL. Hope you read through all of it…its pretty short actually, but very informative, I thought so. Sana Khawar also wrote another guest post here on yours truly’s [idk] blog. If you got distracted by the link in the very begining of this post, you might have been directed there. You are welcome. And here is another guest post…Check it out. And here is the page where you can find my guest posts I wrote on other people’s blogs. You better check them out [thats a bit harsh..eh watevs].

If you want me to guest post on your blog or website…I will love to do it!!! [please? I love guest posting and give me a topic] Also, if you want to be cool and guest post on my blog, I would LOVE that. It can be any appropriate topic and an image/video/whatever else would be nice with it. Just TELL ME [via comment or email, which is in one of the tabs/pages above this blog. [fine, its “herenownotforeva.gmail.com”].

Peace out, tell your mom I said hi. -eva626

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Protected: Typing my life atm.

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